The Similarities Between Kung Fu and Porno

May 5, 2009

Protector-JJ-LG-BEP
I was watching a very disappointing Kung Fu movie this past weekend when I realized how strikingly similar the format is to that of a porn. Obviously like any good movie, all scenes should be necessary and important to the plot action; but in both of these genres the dialogue in between “action” sequences serves merely as filler. Practically though, we just can’t watch 90 minutes of non-stop ass-kicking or… ahem… ass-pounding. Crappy horror movies work in the same way, the string section can’t be playing at a fever pitch the whole time, we need breaks.

I’m no movie expert, but this seems analogous to the structure of pop music. Radio-ready hits usually lead with the hook to keep you interested, and then follow with underdeveloped verse melodies that become banal and again, serve as filler. In looking at the Billboard Top 100, a lot of the songs do this, the best example of which are T.I. and JT’s collab “Dead and Gone” and the painfully repititious “Boom Boom Pow”. In addition to the excessive use of hummable hooks, they all use the same verse-chorus-verse-bridge-chorus (x2) structure.

So in conclusion: Kung Fu, porn, cheap horror, and American pop music are all being written by the same person.




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One Response to “The Similarities Between Kung Fu and Porno”

  1. Ke Says:

    Hahahaha, I love this analogy.
    I’m glad you know your porn that well too! 🙂 :p
    It makes me want to at least check out The Protector in full.

    Seriously though, I definitely agree. All I remember from BBP and Dead & Gone is just the chorus and the rest of the songs do not matter at all. It’s actually sort of sad, really.


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